A Modest Proposal

A New Dress Code for L.A. Courts

by Scott Zwartz

July 26, 2015

    Oh, My Goodness!  California courts have a Jew problem. Jews are using Christian names to disguise themselves so that judges won’t know they’re Jewish.  This practice offends California superior court judge John Torribio.  Because Jews “refuse Jesus Christ,” the judge claims he has a constitutional right to consider Jewish evidence by a different standard.  Torribio  writes that he has a constitutional right to determine witness credibility based on whether the witness is a Jew.  Torribio further asserts a constitutional right to exclude Jews from hearings.

How The Jew Danger Came to Light

    Last February lawyer Frank Angel brought to Judge Torribio’s attention that opposing counsel, who had a Christian sounding name, was in fact a Jew, who “refused Jesus Christ.”  Immediately, Judge Torribio and lawyer Angel held a sidebar, from which Judge Torribio excluded The Jew, where Judge Torribio scrutinized some documents about Attorney MacNaughton’s real name of Richard Abrams.  Judge Torribio seemed very concerned that MacNaughton was actually a Jew who “refused Jesus Christ.”   Because Judge Torribio excluded him from the sidebar, Attorney MacNaughton was unable to see the documents which Judge Torribio and lawyer Angel were so assiduously studying.

    When Attorney MacNaughton objected to the appeals court, Justice Paul Turner supported Torribio’s constitutional right to employ the Jew Test to reject evidence, to find witnesses not trustworthy and to decide who may participate in hearings.

 The Difficulties For Judges to Know:

When a Jew is Near?

    Thanks to Frank Angel and Judge Torribio, Justice Turner has identified a serious problem besetting the California courts: Jews are deceptively concealing their presence by looking Christian and having Christian sounding names.  This makes it impossible for judges and justices to know when their courtrooms are being subverted.  California judges need an Early Warning System.

 The Danger to California Judges

    As Judge Torribio and Justice Turner were shocked to learn, some Jews lurk around in disguise.  Who would have thought that someone named MacNaughton would be a Jew?  Then, Zwartz Talk started thinking:  Suppose someone is named Herb Stein?  Is he a Jew or a German Christian?  The same goes for the name Steven Stern?  Jew or Christian?

     While  some Jews have easily recognizable names like Zev Yaroslavsky, a judge is defenseless against someone like  O’Farrell.  What about a Murphy?

    What about Orlando Bloom? Jew or Christian?  Kenny Chesney?  A judge might mistake a Christian for a Jew and exclude his evidence.

 The Modest Proposal

    California  should swiftly enact a law to alert judges when a Jew is approaching.  In the year 1215, the year that the Magna Carta was first signed, this same problem arose in Spain.  People were having trouble distinguishing Jews from Christians.  Thus, Pope Innocent III wrote Canon 68 requiring Jews and Christians to dress differently.

    Requiring entirely different garments is complicated, and Christians might mistakenly wear a Jew shirt without knowing it.  Rather, it is easier to require all Jews to wear bright yellow Stars of David with the word “JEW” inside.

     Lawyer Frank Angel finds MacNaughton’s Name Deception so serious that the State Bar should know that a Jew used a Christian alias to get his attorney license.  Frank Angel has a point.  People have no way to spot Jews when Jews skulk about society using Christian names.  Look at Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti.  His mother is Suki Roth — another Jew.  Who would know that a Garcetti could be a Jew?

      Former Councilmember Jan Perry is Jewish, Black and female!  While judges can see that Ms. Perry is Black and female, without The Modest Proposal that she wear a Yellow Star of David, judges will not know that she is a Jew.

     MacNaughton, Garcetti, Perry — and how many more?  Surely, the proposed law is a most modest solution.

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Update

      On August 12, 2015, the California Supreme Court in case # S227630 upheld the constitutional rights of California judges and justices to discriminate against Jews and others who would “refuse Jesus Christ.”  Welcome one and all to the year 1215!